Buhtt sex?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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