hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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