Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
