That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
