Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm at about main and main street
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
