I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
