I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
