if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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