there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
