Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Vodka?
Forever.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
