U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
