My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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