girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
