She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
