john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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