I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
