Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
