so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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