did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
