I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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