If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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