yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
