I'm drive I can fine osifer
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
