I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
