Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
