my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
