She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize