You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
