im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
