i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
