Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
