I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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