I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
