If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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