Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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