yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I had your ass I would rule the world
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize