hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
