so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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