I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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