well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
