he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize