well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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