I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
