Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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