I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
