he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
