Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize