Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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