where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
