morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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