she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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