Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A bitchslap is in order.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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