I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
