Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
