He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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