How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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