i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
