this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
