I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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