It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
